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Experiencing loss or bereavement can be extremely an overwhelming, confusing and difficult time. Whether it is ongoing, sudden or expected, it can be extremely difficult to process and navigate. 

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Here are some different theories about how we experience and heal from loss. I hope you might find them useful:

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Elizabeth Kubler-Ross: She came up with a theory that there are different stages to loss that we travel through to help us come to terms with our loss. These are not in any sequential order and can show up at different times. They are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

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The dual process model: This theory by Margaret Stroebe says that healthy grief involves the person moving back and forth between two states. The first is loss orientated (thinking about the loss and grief, thinking about your loved one, getting support, missing your old life before the loss) and the second is growth or restoration orientated (creating new traditions, working out how to move forward, doing new things, forming new relationships and adjusting current ones).

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Tonkin’s ‘growing around grief model’ suggests that our grief does not necessarily decrease in size over time but we grow around it. It suggests that the loss of our loved one will always be there it will not always overwhelm us and we will grow larger to accommodate it.

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www.cruse.org.uk is a useful website with more to read